Pothead, teen son, jail, gopher

Sooooo...... Been up since 2am. My 19 yr old marijuana loving son was arrested a while back and recently plead guilty to possession of marijuana. He was sentenced to 60 days in jail, 1k fine to victim restitution fund and $350 court fines. We were told that as a first time offender, he would qualify for the community work program. He was handed a paper that explained the process. Easy enough, so it seemed. According to the paperwork , he was to turn himself in to the jail on 5/24. But a week prior to that date he was to go and pre book and complete paperwork. So earlier in the week, he went to the jail at 6:30pm and was fingerprinted, mugshots taken, stripped to his boxers, then given his clothing back along with an application for CWP, the community work program. He was very nervous about going in. He's a skinny little white teen and the jail is filled with gang members and scary people! He wouldn't even pee in the cell in front of the other inmates. He spent about 6 hours in all there. I felt bad for the kid, but unfortunately, this was the consequence for his marijuana smoking.   He was told to come back 5/24 (last night) at 6:30 pm with the application completed and he would be screened and if accepted into the program, would be released in a few hrs and would not spend anytime in real custody. So, last night he goes back with his completed application and I haven't seen him since. I awoke at 2 am and realized that he hasn't been home.Going on 20 hrs now. I've called the jail numerous times and each time I speak to someone different and each has a different response. He didn't qualify for CWP said one. He'd be released in the morning said another. Call back said a 3rd. At 8am, I finally got ahold of someone who seemed to have a heart and he told me that my son was in the process of being transferred to the Farm, a minimum security facility. When I explained the situation, the deputy said he'd look into it and call me back. Amazed to hear my phone ring soon thereafter with the deputy on the line. There had been a paperwork mixup and he was going to pull my son from transport and try to get it all straightened out. Apparently he did qualify for CWP and it was missed. Mind you, again, this is a 19 yr old skinny little white boy. First time offender. No tattoos, not a gang member, but a clean cut young man. I've been up worried about him. Obviously he has been through the full monty of the process including strip search and changed into a jail jumpsuit.   He must be soo scared. I would be. I feel so helpless and want to help, but all I can do is sit and wait and hope he walks in the front door. In addition to that, he recently started a new job and was scheduled to work this morning. His 16 yr old brother works at the same location so I had them switch shifts. Hopefully my son is released in time! I'm sure I have many new gray hairs sprouting from my worry.  Noon arrived with no sign of my baby. I again called the jail and was told that he was there. They were able to pull him from transport and he did qualify for CWP. However it's a holiday weekend and they are under staffed, so he would be released within a few hours. I finally breathed a sigh of relief, walked into my bedroom to take a nap and out of the corner of my eye, I see something run under my dresser with the family cat in pursuit. The cat is pacing, slowly walking back and forth in front of the dresser , stops and is trying to stick its paws underneath. I look underneath and see beady eyes. Freaking cat brought in a baby gopher. It was alive. My older son grabbed packing tape and attached a Tupperware bowl to the end of his go pro pole and was able to capture the critter. He released him in the backyard. It's now approaching 2pm and still no sign of my teen!

Teen drinking

2nd weekend in a row we've had the local police call us to come pick up our son from a party. Last weekend on 22nd st in HB, and last night in FV. Schools not out for summer until next month and the parties have already started up. Gonna be a long summer! I remember being a teen and partying, but I never had to call parents. They'd just make us all leave. And most of the time we'd be drinking and pile into cars and head out. Though I don't like the teen drinking, I'm thankful that my teen son always makes the choice not to drive. He knows to call us for a ride. I've also told him not to get in a car driven by someone whose been drinking. Hope he continues to abide by this!

Step daughter

Had lunch in downtown Disney with my step daughter yesterday. Met her new boyfriend whom she met online. I thought the online dating thing was for older people, guess not because shes 25.   She has a Disneyland pass and visits the park as often as she can. She lives in Ventura. I on the other hand reside a mere 15 minutes from the park and haven't been in years. They were both wearing lanyards with all kinds of pins on them. Big Disney fans. We were supposed to meet at Rainforest Cafe but there was a 45 minute wait so we ended up at Tortilla Joes. They've been dating for a little more than 3 months and are still in the endearing romantic beginning of their relationship. Throughout lunch there were numerous loving looks, little kisses, etc. Very different from the interactions that I have with my husband. She seems very happy, so I am happy for her. She was excited that she was going to meet up with her mom later in the week because her mom seems to be back on her meds. Their relationship has been very tumultuous. I can't imagine being raised by a schizophrenic mother. It was very hard for her. But on the other hand, she made it her mission to not be like her mom. She graduated with honors from UC Davis. She works full time. She has carved out a nice little life for herself  nd I am so proud of her. I realized that my sons probably thought the same. They don't want to be like me or my husband either. But in their case that's not a good thing because we are honest hard working parents. My eldest son, also 25, I know what you must be thinking; 2 kids the same age? I will save that story for another day. Well my 25 yr old son lives in my garage. He doesn't have any plans on ever leaving. In fact he asks me when I'm moving! My middle son is 19 and is a huge pothead. Always in some kind of trouble with the law. I foresee a difficult life for him if he doesn't change his ways. My 16 yr old is still in high school and he is the only one of the boys that talks about moving out. 3 very different sons living under one roof. Getting them to open up is difficult. Step daughter on the other hand has no problem telling me things that I sometimes prefer not to know about , such as her upcoming birthday camping trip with her boyfriend that she calls acid camping. Acid and camping don't go hand in hand in my book. I have never done acid and when I hear the word, the go ask Alice song goes off in my head. I told her about some young young hikers who recently were missing for 3 days and to be careful.

Kons court day

Today is my 19 yr old sons 1st court appearance on his arrest for intent to sell marijuana, a felony  he also was charged with a misdemeanor having Xanax without a prescription.  Though this is not his 1st brush with the law, it is his first as an adult.  So instead of standing by his side in front of the judge, I will sit with the rest of the people. As a mother it is heartbreaking to have a son go down the wrong road. He has made many foolish choices in his 19 years and I constantly worry about him.  He is already anticipating going to jail and in fact prefers jail over probation so he can continue to smoke pot. Which blows my mind. He will sign up for a public defender because we can't afford an attorney.   I am working part time only and we are barely making ends meet. My brother is also going to court today on his numerous charges. So my brother and my son both in court on the same day. My son is very much like my brother and that really concerns me because my brother has spent half his life behind bars. I pray that my son doesn't follow that same path and this is his first and last bad choice but odds are it isn't.

VD

Valentines Day. Came home from work to burritos made by my husband. Ate cookies from Autumn too. Back is hurting today. Looking forward to the weekend, its suppossed to be in the 80s!

Sunday 3/11/12

At work in Newport Beach because the 2 docs are parting ways. Came in to divide property. However, we didn't have keys to the storage container so it was a waste. Actually it wasn't a complete waste because today is my sister in laws baby shower and I had to get Pasta Salad and Baguettes from C'est si bon. Got a chocolate croissant for myself, yum. Shower will be over the top because my sister is just that way. She throws together amazing events but its her way or no way, so though we are a part of the event, we are really just her minions getting things done. It's always beautiful and elegant and tasteful, just not my cup of tea. Can't wait to meet the latest member of our family next month. Hope my brother(the babies daddy) appreciates the lovely lady that will be his babies mama. Hope nobody asks where he is because usually at showers, the husband shows up at the end to thank everyone and help load up all the goodies. In this case, my bro is currently sitting in the OC Jail.....